I know they say when it rains it pours. Well I have been stuck in the middle of a downpour for a while now. When my Uncle passed I was sad but we knew his time was coming. Then my dad passed away and it has gutted me. I feel as though im barely functioning. Day before yesterday we were told to evacuate because of the Bogart fire. Thankfully the house was safe and we were fine. Then today while trying to get my mom to an important appointment, I get rear ended, I notice the other driver is on the phone. A man walks up to me and asked if I have anyone to call.”No” I said.
No, normally I would call my dad. Luckily my boyfriend was able to help me over the phone but he is very busy and I try not to burden him with my drama, im not his responsability. It has been a learning experience, ever since my divorce, im trying to learn to take care of things on my own without my dad or my ex-husband around to come to my rescue.
Luckily the damage isnt bad and im only shaken up and sore. I want nothing more than to just lay in bed and cry, just get all of these pent up emotions out but the way my job is structured, I cant ever just call off. It doesnt matter what is going on. Its my responsability to get my shift covered. Well every salon owned by our franchise owner is understaffed so there is no one to cover my shift. Keep in mind im trying to cover my shift while waiting at firestone to get a tire put onto my car just so I can get my mom and myself home.
I know, I know, be thankful that no one was hurt. And im not. Just slightly sore from the car spinning. But im emotionally and physically exhausted. I feel like I haven’t had a break. No time to heal. Just one stressful or emotional incident after another. Everything that can go wrong will I suppose.
I know im complaining but I really wish I could go to the top of a mountain and scream it all out, at the top of my lungs. Instead im gonna get ready to go to my minimum wage job, a job I have because I went to school for it but Yeah, its still minimum wage. Life is fucking hard and lately I hate it and I couldn’t care less about anything. How can I get ahead if I keep getting tripped and knocked down? And then kicked again once im down? You know that saying, “Life sucks, and then you die”? I find it pretty relatable now.
jessiepallow 